Dearest Friends,

We must never lose sight of why we were all fighting so hard. As one of my wise friends said, “I’m proud of you – those kids represented the hill you were willing to die on… and you died on it spectacularly.”

There have been many hurt feelings. Those that dissented, as well as those who voted in favor felt they had no other recourse, and for that I am sorry. The firestorm of shouting, from the pulpit no less, and the lack of order or decency at the Annual Meeting only served to prove that there wasn’t a true discussion possible and no one “on that side” was looking for solutions, only justification. Personally, I believe this congregation will not heal until it’s true pastor is called and installed to lead.

Let me share with you some final thoughts, since it is very much necessary for me to set the record straight. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t want the final word, of course.

The CPC Youth Program is dead. The earmark of $10,000 for 2012 was a bone thrown to try and distract from the truth that they were, in fact, killing the program. What they failed to consider is that they didn’t fire Ken until today –  and they did fire him but good, as the letter above illustrates- and most of that money was or will be spent on severance, insurance and unemployment. That leaves very little for the kids to have any kind of program, run by not-yet-named volunteers.

As for moving forward, we have asked and asked about the “restructuring”. No one replied to any emails, texts or Facebook posts. Tricia’s door was closed every time we tried to approach her. No one has called, or scheduled a meeting. Tricia has now left town to San Antonio. We were told that there was to be 3 months severance and continuation of our health insurance for longer period of time.  Of course, we were also told there would be a congregational ratification vote on Sunday, and she would encourage the congregation to reject it from the pulpit. Tricia said she had the final say with regard to the submission of paperwork to the Committee on Ministry (COM) and she wouldn’t approve it if Session “did the wrong thing because as Interim because she had more power than a called Pastor.”

Clearly THAT didn’t happen.

I don’t wish to muddy the future by continuing to rehash the past, and I’m working hard and failing a little to keep from being bitter and gossipy. I struggle with this big time. But I do need to make one point clear. Had we not been told that the congregation had the power to reject the budget, I would not have fought as hard as I did to spread the word. Had I not been given hope and assurances as to the power of the office of Interim Pastor, I wouldn’t have died on the hill so spectacularly. I claim all responsibility for what I said. I own every word, and I stand by every word.

Dear Friends,

Below is an excerpt from an email I sent last night to our Session. It is important to note that in all communication here, and on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter – the opinions and suggestions are mine. I accept full responsibility for them, and their tone and intent. If there are any factual errors I will be happy to correct them.

I sincerely believe this is an opportunity for us to come together as a congregation and fix this mess. I, and others, are deeply disappointed in the process by which this has happened, and the fact that after many, many people stood and voiced their support on Sunday, and pledged to help, the vote was still carried out, in haste, and in relative secret, disregarding them completely.

I have had a petition running on my website for a little less than 48 hours, and thus far have collected dozens of letters of support, but more importantly, informally received commitments of more than $1500 $2000 per month. Let’s call it a “grass-roots” stewardship straw poll, if you will. Some have pledged a widow’s mite of $5 per month, and some as much as $400 per month. All of them are verifiable – you need only ask for the information.

I realize this isn’t binding, and moreover, I realize that if we don’t fix our larger stewardship problem, propping up the Youth Department is futile. I am not ignorant of the issue, nor do I wish to save Youth at the risk of another program. We are all in this together.

But I believe that it IS indicative of the kind of support that you would receive IF YOU ONLY HAD ASKED FOR SPECIFIC ASSISTANCE and if you had led our congregation specifically, as you are charged to do by the Book of Order.

So, this begs the question, “What would happen if you did it now?”

What would happen if you, Our Session, in your own prudent reflection, filed a stay of enforcement yourselves. You need only 3 Session Members to do it. And what if you announced that fact on Sunday, and asked, with a pledge card for our members to transform their indignation into faith and action.

My dear friends, I ask you this: What do you have to LOSE by doing that? Time? 

I am attaching comments from members, like myself, that love our church and would welcome the opportunity to be part of the solution. There are many more comments in existence, including a letter from the Kiwanis Board of Directors. That is gratifying, but again, it still requires we work as a congregation to solve this issue. No outside group can solve it for us.

Our church is aging. That is a fact. In fact, by baptism we have received two members (that I am aware of) in the last 3 years – {NAME REDACTED} and Tanner Olsen. Which translates to 50% as a result of our youth program.

Our nurseries are empty. We have received one family by transfer of membership. Mine. That translates to 100% as a result of the youth program. The youth program could, and should be expanded. We are just now starting to gain outreach traction through the drive-in movies, the family events, and the relationships that are starting to form after graduating a large group of kids. Youth = life.

Please tell me HOW we intend to solve this problem -  DON’T TELL ME WE CAN’T. Why can’t we pay the salary from the Youth Fund so we can fundraise to support it? Why can’t we have a pledge card on Sunday?

Why can’t we add a credit card payment form on our website to allow members to sign up for monthly stewardship payments? We have the technology in place NOW. It’s the same technology I setup 3 years ago for wreaths and for Sandstock. I can have that added to the website is less than 5 minutes, and Kim Fon is the only one that can access the funds, and then only for the purposes of transferring the cash into our bank account. I would much rather use Facebook to communicate this kind of opportunity and solution, rather than railing at the problem.

I need only the word “GO” from my Session to do that. What does it hurt? What does it cost?

Far less than the anger of a congregation that feels they are ripping apart. Please let us stand together and fix this. These are easy solutions and I believe God will honor our unity, and our effort.

I have heard over and over, “We had no other options.”

If you, as a Session Member, have given up and truly see no other options, then please STEP DOWN TODAY and let someone with ideas, enthusiasm and tenacity STEP UP. We are out here, I promise you. You need only listen and have the courage to let us help. We elected you, and thus far we have failed you. But you have failed to lead us, too.

Let’s work together to be what God has intended – unified.

Grace and Peace,
Chelle

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I posted an update and a plea concerning the urgent situation at Community Presbyterian Church. I spoke with DOZENS of people during the day, on the phone, via text message, via email, Facebook, Twitter and Google+.

That’s the beauty of social media.

It seems that I answered virtually the same questions over and over, and it solidified the fact that there is SO MUCH MISINFORMATION out there. Let me address a few questions:

I was told the Youth Budget isn’t being CUT, it’s being REORGANIZED – is that true? 

The budget eliminates the full-time Youth Director position whose salary comes from our General Fund, and leaves in place special Youth Fund. I have not been able to determine what that fund will be for, who will use it, how much is in there, or any other information regarding it. (update: It’s $10,000, which has essentially been spent on salary, severance, insurance and unemployment for the former youth director)

Let’s, however, not mince words. If there isn’t a Youth Director there when a kid needs them, then the program has been cut.

If you look into the Youth Room at 12:30pm on Sunday on your way to lunch and see 4 kids and assume the program doesn’t need a full-time Director, then you have no idea where ministry takes place. I would invite you back when there are 25 kids talking about their friend that just overdosed and died. Join the conversations on Facebook when the kids are about to pop a hydrocodone, and they stop and talk to Ken instead. Hang out at any of the “party-alternative” events we have. Ministry is a way of life. It chose Ken. Believe me, I would much rather have him back on his career path as the Vice President of Redbox or Netflix and our airline miles and retirement account growing each month.

The Youth Program was meant to be self-sustaining. Didn’t you raise enough money to keep the program?

NO AMOUNT OF FUNDRAISING IMPACTS THE SALARY. The salary comes from the General Fund – not the special fund. In fact, no special giving can impact the salary of the Youth Director, which comes from the General Fund.  So if you write “YOUTH” on your check it does not help the situation we’re in now. Does that surprise you? Me too. This means that no amount of effort on our part could have saved the salary of the Youth Director. HOWEVER, Session has the power to change the budget so that the Youth Director is PAID FROM THE SPECIAL FUND, which means it would work the way we all thought it worked in the first place.

Why are we only hearing about this now?

Good question. A very good question. We heard about it a few days before Ken’s mom passed away on January 5th. Before that, not a single word from the Finance Committee, or the Session that there was an issue. It’s a serious deficit,  why only find out when Session believes it is too late to do anything else?

Geez, you talk a lot on Facebook. Is that the right place to say all this?

First, let me say, I’m a social media consultant and director of technology and marketing by trade. My mom tells her friends I get paid to be on Facebook. That’s not inaccurate, actually – a little simplified, of course – but accurate. I get paid to tell people how to leverage conversations happening in a new and scary place – online. I’ve written books, whitepapers, blogs and articles on social media. I’ve presented around the world at conferences. I work with Fortune 50 corporations, small companies, non-profits, political candidates, newspapers and other businesses every day to teach them how to have conversations online through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, YouTube, Google+ and hundreds of other mediums. The telephone was a scary thing too, at some point.

Second, I’m not complaining in a vacuum here. I’m trying to educate and inform. I’m trying to bring light to a dark situation.  I’m using a new medium with vast capabilities to expand on issues and ideas, and problem solve and rally people to a cause we all care about. No one disagrees that kids aren’t important – the question is, how do we solve this? The traditional methods of communication haven’t worked. What this does is present an opportunity for someone with an opposing view, or more information, or different information a way to clarify their points of view, too. I welcome that.The vast majority get that, but some villagers have only wanted to wave their torches at me. That’s OK too. I’m an educator, I’ll keep educating.

 Isn’t it a done deal? Doesn’t Session have absolute power?

Nope. The Congregation can choose to NOT RATIFY the budget and send it back to Session. Given their unwillingness to listen and take advantage of the help that was offered at last Sunday’s Town Hall Meeting, that doesn’t seem like an option they will pursue with much enthusiasm. They’ve made their decision.

However, my belief is that they haven’t acted in accordance with our Presbyterian Book of Order, and I intend to file a complaint with our Presbytery and have the decision reviewed by a panel of impartial Presbyterian committee members.

So, you see, no amount of fundraising could have helped. Special giving couldn’t have helped. The only thing that could have helped is for our Session to lead us through a stewardship campaign and increase giving overall – which is exactly what should have happened. If we prop up youth, but not our church overall, that’s not responsible – we’re in a bigger mess than just our Youth Program being cut. I agree with Session on that point.

What I don’t agree with is the process by which it happened, the lack of communication, and the disregard for our congregation. Some members of our Session are abusing their power for the sake of expedition, and I personally have heard one member say, “No one else cares what we do. No one else knows what we do. We do what we want.” I don’t think that’s true.  I also don’t think its true of MANY members. I believe they’ve been given skewed financial information, and it seemed the only solution to some given the facts as presented. My point is these are good people that didn’t have all the facts, and didn’t have  TAKE the time to make the decision with enough resources. I believe that an impartial review will bear that out. In the meantime, come to the meeting Sunday and let your voice be heard. Sign the petition below. However you feel – be part of the process.

//Chelle

My Dear Friends In Faith, 

Christ gives to his Church its faith and life, its unity
and mission, its officers and ordinances. Insofar as Christ’s will
for the Church is set forth in Scripture, it is to be obeyed. In the
worship and service of God and the government of the church,
matters are to be ordered according to the Word by reason and
sound judgment, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

- Presbyterian Book of Order (G-1.0100)

Last night the Session of Community Presbyterian Church voted to approve a budget which eliminates our youth program and the position of Youth Director. Ken and I talked this morning and we still agree: We love being Presbyterian. We love Port Aransas, and most of all we love the youth of this community. We were called here, and have served side by side with friends and supporters in this mission field. We have been blessed by these kids over the last 4 years, and have many, many testimonies of success and love.

There is more to do.

We are committed to finding a way to move forward, despite what we feel is a faithless action by some members of the session – the vote was split. This isn’t about a job or a budget. This is about what we say to our kids when we “cut” them. It’s about what happens to a church whose membership is aging and dying faster than they are adding new members. It is about vision, and stewardship and family.

It is about leadership.

It is the duty of elders, individually and jointly, to strengthen and nurture the faith and life of the congregation committed to their charge. Together with the pastor, they should encourage the people in the worship and service of God, equip and renew them for their tasks within the church and for their mission in the world, visit and comfort and care for the people, with special attention to the poor, the sick, the lonely, and those who are oppressed

G-6.0304 (Presbyterian Book of Order, 2011)

Our Presbyterian Book of Order is clear on what the responsibilities of a Session Member are:

G-10.0100 The Session – Responsibilities

h. to challenge the people of God with the privilege of responsible Christian stewardship of money and time and talents, developing effective ways for encouraging and gathering the offerings of the people and assuring that all offerings are distributed to the objects toward which they were contributed;

i. to establish the annual budget, determine the distribution of the church’s benevolences, and order offerings for Christian purposes, providing full information to the congregation of its decisions in such matters;

j. to lead the congregation continually to discover what God is doing in the world and to plan for change, renewal, and reformation under the Word of God

e. to provide for the growth of its members and for their equipment for ministry through personal and pastoral care, educational programs including the church school, sharing in fellowship and mutual support, and opportunities for witness and service in the world;

f. to develop and supervise the church school and the educational program of the church;

• Our Session failed to lead us by not communicating the issue sooner rather than later. 
• Our Session failed to listen to the will of the congregation as they are charged to do.
• Our Session failed to respond with faith by initiating a stewardship campaign.
• Our Session failed to look beyond their own counsel for resources.

Fully understanding my mother-in-law’s sadness and pain. Seeing what she endured in a dishonorable husband.

I grieve.

I can’t form sentences. Big words escape me.

News comes last night: Ken’s job is likely being eliminated by the church tonight. Our youth program gone.

God sends songs.

To all who are looking down
Holding on to hearts still wounding
For those who’ve yet to find it
The place is near where love is moving
Cast off the robes you’re wearing
Set aside the names that you’ve been given
May this place of rest in the fold of your journey
Bind you to hope
You will never walk alone

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (Never walk alone)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (Your arms are all around us)

If our hearts are turned to stone
There is hope we know the rocks will cry out
And the tears aren’t ours alone
Let them fall into the hands that hold us
Come away from where you’re hiding
Set aside the lies that you’ve been living
May this place of rest in the fold of your journey
Bind you to hope
We will never walk alone

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In the shelter)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (You will never walk alone)

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In Your arms are all around us)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In Your arms are all around us)

If there is any peace
If there is any war
We must all believe
Our lives are not our own
We all belong

God has given us each other
And we will never walk alone

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (We will never walk alone)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In the shelter)

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (Your arms are all around us)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In Your arms are all around us)

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In Your arms are all around us)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In Your arms are all around us)

In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live
(In the shelter of each other we will never walk alone – never walk alone)

I am deeply saddened.

I was a grownup from the age of 9, when my brother Dan was born. My mother was 9 days pregnant with him when his father was murdered by a guy on PCP. Any chance of a normal life for us bled out with Richard. With three jobs, and a fierce will to never accept charity, my mother somehow survived that dark time of grief, hopeful that better days were coming. Danny’s arrival February 19th was her reward and my salvation. He was the golden boy, cherished and loved by everyone that he met, with a smile that could eclipse the sun. My Great-Grandmother came to visit my mom and me and Danny when he was a few weeks old and asked if I was jealous not to have my mom all to myself and I said, “Certainly not. That’s MY baby.” And he was. He captured my heart from the moment I kissed his toes, and I made him fresh nanners with the Happy Baby Food Mill and we watched Charlie’s Angels together and made forts and played High/Fast. He cried when I left the house, and tried to go to school with me every morning. My poor bus driver Mrs. Detrich had to tell him he wasn’t big enough to go to school yet and he told her that he was a BIG BOY and she was taking his SISTOO and that was NOT NICE. I acted annoyed, but I was secretly delighted to have someone love me that much. He was the only certain thing in my life.

Now I have two daughters of my own, and each year I relish telling them the story of the day they were born. For Kelsea, it’s the play by play of the day including the lobster thermador that made it’s reappearance during labor as I projectile vomited it across my birthing room when the pain overwhelmed me (I slip that in as a little subliminal birth control) and all about the storm she was born in. Both literal and figurative. I say now that I fell out of my family tree as a tongue-in-cheek way to describe my painful, violent and very necessary split from the toxicity that just IS the family I was born into.

Except for Danny. He’s caught in the middle. Leaning way more away from me, but I understand. He’s a peacemaker and I am not. Kelsea is so much like him that I truly, to the depths of my soul, believe that God knew what was coming and gave her the personality she has as a gift to me. To remember MY baby each time she smiles, tells a joke the same way, raises an eyebrow, and calls me Mim, like Danny does our mom.

They were not raised near one another, but their cadence, demeanor, humor and compassion are as if they were separated at birth. It is both comforting and disconcerting at the same time. Like watching a ghost come around the corner.

In a few days she’ll head back to college after Winter Break. I wonder if her bus driver will let me on. I am a big girl, and taking her is not nice.

I wasn’t blessed with a sister. I had two brothers come along 9 and 12 years after I was born, and some of the mysteries of siblings somewhat escape me. I love my brothers, don’t get me wrong, but we don’t talk very often and when we do it’s about pretty simple stuff. I got married when they were still in elementary school and moved to Texas, so it’s just different, I suppose, from some families.

Like the one you see above. On the left is my friend Tanya. She’s also my daughter Cathryn’s “real” mom of sorts. They are hilariously similar in ways large and small.  They laugh, they bring joy to everyone they meet and they’re the center of many people’s attention for their infinite goodness, love and strength. They sparkle. Cathryn dated Tanya’s son for a while, but even if she hadn’t they would still be close. When something happens in Cat’s world, she wants a hug from me, and then a hug and an hour to talk to Tanya. I don’t mind – love multiplies with both of them. They’re glittering soul-mates.

In the middle is Phyllis, her Mom. We call her Honey, which is what her grandsons Chase and Maxx called her when they were little and that just kinda stuck. Honey pretty much describes her, too. Without being cliche’, she’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. She “adopted” my husband Ken a while back since they were both in the theater and had a million funny things to talk about. My husband would walk through fire for her. He adores her. When I met her she quickly became one of the women I most admired and loved, too – and I don’t like a lot of women, to be honest. She’s smart, always sees the good in people, shares her love and faith freely, and takes care of more people in large and small ways than most churches. She’s my hero.

On the right is Tiffany.

Truth be told, I haven’t spent a lot of time with Tiffany, but I know and love her as much as her Mom and Sister. This week Tiffany lost her hard fought battle with cancer. And for 487 days from the diagnosis until she passed, this was a journey that was gracefully shared with the world. There was a cord of three that showed the entire world what it meant to love someone through a crisis.

From the outside looking in, it was astonishing. And they had no idea how astonishing it was.

When Tiffany was first diagnosed, she came down to her mom’s house and we all sat on the deck overlooking the harbor and enjoyed the sunset. It was when things were still uncertain in terms of a treatment plan, and Tiff was in quite a bit of discomfort. That was the first time I saw them in action and it was completely foreign to me to see such love poured out on one another. Tiffany would shiver a tiny bit, and Tanya would move her blanket around her more tightly while in mid-sentence about something else completely. No words were exchanged about wanting the blanket moved or being cold. Tiffany would glance to her right for her glass, and Honey would be holding it ready to hand to her. They instinctively knew.

Tiffany became the center of their universe and they were orbiting her. 

This seems simple. Most people wouldn’t notice these things. But it was indicative of  what was to come. Tiffany was surrounded for the next 18 months with that same light, love and care. She was never alone. She never had to worry about anything except fighting hard.

That night, after watching a true family, I told Tiffany that I was jealous of having a sister. They never took it for granted that they were best friends, and never, ever missed an opportunity to say, “I love you” or smile.

She said that night that I could be her Sissy, too. She understood that love was meant to be shared and she shared it with everyone. She knew that she was loved without end, by her family, her friends and her savior. She understood that love was multiplied and never divided when shared with another.

I was not the only one that saw the miracle of her journey. When we had a candlelight service as she was sent home to hospice, nearly one hundred people came and prayed for Tiffany – who didn’t even live in Port Aransas. Most of us watched her journey on Facebook and cried as she lost her hair and cheered as she watched her beloved son graduate from high school. Every milestone was celebrated.

And prayed over. And praised.

Lesser families, and lesser women would have lost faith. Tiffany never did. She never lost faith that she would be healed – even if that wasn’t an earthly healing. She never questioned her God’s plan for her. Her mom and sister praised God for His grace and mercy. They prayed for the wisdom of the doctors and thanked God for the gift of time.

It was astonishing. It remains astonishing.

There is a deep sadness for me at her passing, that isn’t “quite” made better by knowing that she’s in a very real afterlife with a very real Jesus. I know she’s out of pain, and for that I’m grateful. Selfishly, I wanted her cancer-free and sitting on the deck at her mom’s house. I cannot pretend to understand why that wasn’t the plan.

But I will take the lessons that Tiffany’s life taught me, and watch the women that loved her best, and do what they do. Love, laugh, celebrate, praise and pray. Despite the sadness of losing Tiffany, they continue to praise their God. Their love carried them through and one can only hope to be loved like that in their lifetime.

Tiffany Beth, you were an extraordinary woman, from a family of extraordinary women. I was honored to know and love you. I will do my best to take care of your mom and sissy as they miss you for all time, but forgive me for not doing it as well as you – no one could.

In terms of the juice part, I made 16 ounces of a fruit blend – apple, carrot, pear and ginger, which was DELICIOUS and I used for my morning cocktail. I would have had decent energy, except for the headache and a lot of the detox symptoms – body aches.

I also made 40 ounces (5 glasses) of pure green juice: kale, celery, apple, cucumber. It wasn’t bad, but it smelled like butt.

Didn’t feel hungry at all, which was good. I’m also taking psyllium caps for fiber, coupled with a natural laxative to keep things moving. It worked pretty well yesterday, without being too harsh or gross.

On to day 3!

What also slipped by was another 30 pounds of stress. That brings me closer to 300lbs that I ever thought possible. What’s crazy is this: I wasn’t heavy as a child, or a teenager, or when I married at 20. I was a comfortable size 9. When I became pregnant with Kelsea, I gained 87 pounds on 5 months of bedrest. Not ever having an issue with weight before, it didn’t “bother” me. I just figured it would drop off.

It didn’t. I lost about 30 pounds, but then gained another 60 with my second daughter, Cathryn.

But again, it didn’t bother me. I was in a happy marriage, with a guy that didn’t make an issue of it. We had other issues over the years, but this wasn’t one of them.

I worked from home, so I didn’t have the “social stigma” of worrying about it. I didn’t have peer pressure from co-workers. It wasn’t an issue of self-esteem. I like myself – I really do.

Two decades passed, and a little more weight was added each year. We didn’t eat badly, and the girls didn’t struggle with their weight. But, my mostly sedentary life was the issue for me. I simply didn’t move – at all.

Still, it just wasn’t an issue. Until, it was. I turned 40 and started to feel like crap. All the time. My body hurt. My knees hurt to the point that I avoided MOVING if possible.

12 weeks of strictly following a new eating plan resulted in my husband losing nearly 40 pounds and looking great. I lost 12 and I was totally frustrated.

Which brings me to what I’m doing. A juice fast. 14 days to start, but I’m hoping to go for 40. Fresh juice to detox my body and then a mostly Pescetarian diet after that. It’s got to be a life change. Which means, you know, for life.

Here we go.